Was working the other day and there was a woman talking to a man in a booth about some other man — presumably her boyfriend or ex. I was sweeping around, and trying not to overhear, but she was kinda loud.
At some point, the man kicked into “bros before hoes” mode and began to defend the man’s behavior.
She responded, “There’s no excuse for his actions…”
And I thought, “Go girl.”
But then she finished her thought, “There’s no excuse for his actions, he has mental issues.”
I’m learning something new today, so I might as well share. My doctor pointed me to Avoidance Behavior today, and reading up on it is like reading a depressing autobiography of myself. But here’s some info on it, for all of us, in case it’s new to you too — but really just an old friend that’s been around all this time, you just could never remember their name. Susan? Sally? Sanchez?
avoidance behavior. (noun) a pervasive pattern of avoiding or withdrawing from social interaction; a defense mechanism by which a person removes himself/herself from unpleasant situations.
Avoidance coping refers to choosing your behavior based on trying to avoid or escape particular thoughts or feelings. It can involve “doing” (e.g., someone who excessively washes their hands to try to get rid of fears about contamination) or “not doing” (e.g., when someone avoids having an awkward conversation). Avoidance coping causes anxiety to snowball because when people use avoidance coping they typically end up experiencing more of the very thing they were trying to escape.
QUESTION: Name one thing you have lied to yourself about. Why did you do this?
I suffer with bipolar and anxiety, I lie to myself all the time. I lie about big things, like about whether I’m worth anything. I also lie to myself about trivial things; like about how grievous it is to make my own sandwich verses buying one, or how taking a shower and shaving is a long and tedious task, and I don’t have time to do such things. It’s not easy, but it is super important that no matter how many lies our inner-voice tells us, we use another inner-voice to shout they are not true. It’s important to remind ourselves to be in denial of the lies. Otherwise we will let our lies consume our every waking thoughts and lives.
We are worth a damn, it’s easy to make a sandwich, and we feel better when we look our best. Lies were created to hurt, truth uplifts and breaks chains.
Now it’s your turn. Answer the question in the comments below.
One of my least favorite feelings in life is when you realize you’re coasting. That things are just moving. Work, home life, whatevs. It’s all on cruise control. I hate it so hard.
Any time you think of changing it up, you tell yourself you don’t have time. You tell yourself not to interrupt the coasting. Don’t turn off cruise control and make your own speed, just keep rolling down the highway in the right lane. Don’t pass anyone. Don’t exit the highway. Don’t make any stops. Don’t take the scenic route. Don’t try that local diner which boasts the best burger in town.
I hate it. So hard.
Time passes, and then you look back with the eyes of regret. You should have stopped. You should have changed lanes. You should have tried that damn burger. But now the road is ending, you’re entering a one-way street, and the diner has been closed for years.