Ever since last Fall, I took on a couple of writing projects. The first was publishing the Josephine the Dragon stories by Taylor Christine on the blog. The second was writing the next installment in the I Will Kill You for $5 project.
But, alas, it felt like I had really fallen behind on the blog and writing in general. Life has been crazy, to my credit. However, as is the case a lot, I dump on myself a lot about writing.
No doubt about Josephine though, I did fall behind on publishing those stories. Meant to do like one a month or so, but it’s been like… um… not that.
However, I wanna pat myself on the back for a second. Because I rarely do that as a writer, I’m sure other writers are the same way. We really like to self-torture ourselves about our ability to spew words.
But the thing of it is this…
- Yes, I did start writing a short story in October.
- Yes, that was a long time ago.
- Tonight I just finished it.
- Yes, that does seem like a long time to write a short story, especially for me.
- But the thing is that it’s really long.
- Like way longer than my usual stories.
- I typically average around 2,000 to 6,000 word short stories.
- Once, I wrote an 8,000 word story.
- And I can actually write 1,000 words per hour.
- So, a 2,000 word story can be done in 2 hours.
- So, that whole October thing seems like a long time.
- But the thing is that this story is the longest short story I’ve ever written.
- It’s so long, I’m not sure it qualifies as a short story anymore.
- It’s over 15,000 words long.
- To put that in perspective, my collaborative novella Fatal Flaws is 19,000 words long.
- And, I deleted a “scene” or two along the way, in an attempt to shorten the story.
- Basically this… it’s the longest short story I’ve ever written.
- It’s also the one of the longest “complete” stories I’ve ever written by myself.
- And even though it took me quite a while…
- I look at what I have, and look back, and I don’t feel bad at all.
- I felt bad during it. But not now.
- Why? Because the result. The result is something way bigger than I intended.
- And that BIG thing has proven something to myself.
- It has made a statement to me.
- It says, “Dude. You can write long form, just don’t expect to do it overnight. And don’t beat yourself up about that. There’s nothing out of the ordinary with that.”
CURRENT MOOD: David Bowie’s “Heroes”
So. Yeah. I’m kind of in a celebratory mood. I really feel like I’ve accomplished something, and that feels great. Like I’ve really discovered something about myself. And for the first time, I realize that the nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I’m failing–yeah, it’s full of it. Totally full of it.
That being said… if you are like me, and like to brutalize yourself internally as a writer, remember this–the Voice is your enemy. You’re better than the Voice. The Voice in your head can’t even write ONE BLESSED word. Eat that Voice.